Rocky Road
by Terrorkruemel
Summary: A routine Interview turns into a life and death situation for Lestrade.
1. Chapter 1

It was a good day. Lestrade was looking forward to his date in the evening. Finally, after that whole disaster with his wife, ex wife he reminded himself, he had the guts to ask Molly out. He was slightly surprised when she actually said yes. Now it was just one more routine interview to go and then he'll soon be on his way to pick her up. Little did Lestrade know, that in a blink of an eye this day will become hell.

The guy he was interviewing wasn't even their prime suspect, he only had some questions regarding the victim. Sherlock deduced that the victim had an affair with one Leroy Greydon and that he was one of the persons who saw her last.

The Interview should be quick. He left Sherlock and John at the Yard. He'll fill them in later.

"Please, do come in Detective Inspector" Greydon greeted Lestrade "Do you want a cup of tea or something?" He asked while closing the door, showing Lestrade the way to the living room. "After you."

"No, thanks" Lestrade reclined politely. He only had a couple of questions and didn't want to stay longer than necessary.

Lestrade made his way past Greydon and into the living room.

"Mr. Greydon, regarding your rela..." he didn't get any further.  
Something hard hit him on the back of his head. His vision got blurry and he had to use all of his strength to not pass out.  
Clinging to the side of the wall Lestrade tried to reach his Baton but he was too slow. Another blow to the side of his head made him loose all of his remaining strength and his legs gave away.  
He slit to the floor nearly passing out and while he was trying to fight the black spots that kept dancing before his eyes he saw Greydon stepping over him and going into the hallway, out of Lestrades sight.

He heard a door close, assumed that Greydon fled the scene and allowed himself a couple of minutes to become fully aware.

"Fuck!" Lestrade thought.  
He pulled himself up, trying to ignore the spinning room and the pain in his head. He could feel blood running down his face from a cut above the eyebrow.  
"Fuck!" He leaned onto the wall, fumbling for his mobile. It took him quiet a while but finally he was able to take one hand off the wall without having to fear to fall over. He dialled Donovans number to let her know about this whole disaster and that she must conduct a search for Greydon ASAP.  
He put the mobile to his hear and waited.

"Hey Lestrade," he heard a female voice on the other end of the line,  
"Interview over, Boss?" Lestrade breathed through the pain.

He heard a car pull up outside the house. "Shit!" Lestrade thought, realizing that it most likely was Greydon returning.  
Now he had to act quick. He didn't hear any car doors or the front door being opened so he still had some time.

"Donovan, listen. I'm at Greydon's. Sherlock knows. He attacked me. Greydon. I'm fine, though. He left but I think he's coming back. I need backup right away! I need to get out of here or hide or what ever" Looking around for a way out he noticed that he was rambling."bloody head wound" Lestrade thought.

"Boss are you really OK? Donovan sounded concerned  
"Yeah m'fine only got knocked over the head a bit. Bit wobbly but had worse" he answered, while turning and suddenly froze.

Greydon was standing in the hallway holding a gun.  
"Thought I left, did ya?" he asked with an ice cold voice.  
"Thought you could get away, eh?" "Too bad for you, that I didn't leave the house, just had to search for my old friend here to finish you off"

And suddenly Lestades world was full of pain. He heard Donovan screaming. He felt three bullets hitting him right in the chest and the stomach. His legs buckled and he hit the floor hard. His mobile slit away from him, Donovan still on the other end of the line, panicking. He felt blood, his blood wetting the floor beneath him. Breathing was getting difficult.

Greydon was leaning over him now, grinning. Under normal circumstances Lestrade would have panicked, might have tried to get away from that madman. But the only thing Lestrade was able to do right now was lying still and trying to get some oxygen into his lungs. He was on the brink of unconsciousness "Bye bye Pig" the gun was now aiming at his head.

A single gunshot rang through the house.


	2. Chapter 2

John was standing in the door frame, panting. His old service side-arm in his hand. Some time after Lestrade had left them at the Yard Sherlock noticed another detail in the report that let him to the conclusion that Greydon was not only the lover of the victim but as well an ex Mafia killer.  
He tried to reach Lestrade to warn him about that but he wasn't answering his phone. So they flagged down a taxi and made their way quickly to Greydon's address.

* * *

A single gunshot rang through the house.

Death wasn't as painless as he expected it to be, Lestrade thought. It seems that the weight on his chest had just increased. Pain flared through his abdomen and chest. Every breath he took was getting more and more painful, harder and was delivering him less and less oxygen. He thought of giving it up, maybe that would give him some well deserved comfort.

Suddenly he heard a well known, voice. "Lestrade, open you eyes, can you do that for me? You've gotta stay awake and keep breathing".

"John? What was John doing here?" Lestrade wondered while he tried to open eyelids that suddenly felt like they where made out of concrete. He really tried but he had now strength at all. The solely task of breathing was using all of his stamina. "Come on Lestrade, help is here soon. Stay with us" Lestrade felt himself drifting away. He tried to ask John why he was here but the words where lost in a wet cough and Lestrade could feel something warm and wet running from the corner of his mouth, tasting the tale tell tang of copper in his mouth.

"Shhh, don't try to talk, just concentrate on breathing, everything's fine. Greydon's been taken care of"

"Sherlock, give me your coat and hold Lestrade's hand, talk to him, say anything to comfort him" John shouted to Sherlock, who was leaning over Greydon, inspecting the bullet hole in the back of his head.

Lestrade felt his hand being picked up, being hold tight and that gave him some slight comfort. It was his connection to the real world while his body got weaker and weaker and he could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness. He listened to Sherlock blabbering away...trying to get some precious oxygen into his lungs was now a nearly impossible task. The last thing Lestrade remembered before passing out was John reassuring him that everything is fine and that he'll be as good as new in no time.

* * *

John knew it was a lie. Lestrade would have a hell of a recovery if he made it.

The two bullets that entered the DI's Chest have most likely shattered his ribcage and tore through his lungs given the location of the entry wounds. He didn't want to think about the damage the bullet to the abdomen might have done. Wounds to the abdomen are always messy but what frightened him the most was the lack of an exit wound, unlike with the two chest wounds. He knew that it could mean that the bullet was lodged in the DI's spine but he pushed the thought back and applied more pressure to the wounds on Lestrade's stomach and chest.

John felt a wave of relive when he heard the sirens of the ambulance in the distance. Lestrade's breathing was virtually non existent and John wasn't sure how long he could keep Lestrade alive without professional equipment.

"Sherlock, get out and show the medics the way" he said turning to Sherlock who was still holding the DI's hand even after he had long lost consciousness.

As soon as the Paramedics entered the room John filled them in with the status of the patient and while they where cutting away Lestrade's shirt to gain better access to his wounds John sat back and watched them work. The Paramedics hooked Lestrade up to a heart rate monitor and some IVs and while one medic put an mask on Lestrade's face to help his laboured breathing, the other one performed a chest decompression with a needle thoracostomy. He flinched, that didn't look good at all. Suddenly John heard an alarming sound from the monitor.

„Shit," one of the medics spit out. „The patient is going into shock. We need to get him to the hospital quickly" „He stopped breathing, give me the CPAP." A flat tone was now heard from the monitor. „Cardiac arrest! Start CPR!"

John couldn't bare to watch this. The paramedics were fighting for Lestrades life. One was applying CPR to his already battered chest while the other one was putting the patches for de-fibrillation on Lestrade's body. He had seen scenes like that before, hell he was a doctor he should be used to it but this time it was different. The man lying on the floor was his friend.

„Clear" the paramedic shouted before he applied the shock to Lestrade. Both paramedics leaned back and watched the heart monitor. Seconds became hours to John but suddenly the noise of a heart beating could be heard form the monitor. Not steady but beating and that was all John needed right now.

After the paramedics where sure that their patient was as stable as the would get him at the moment they lifted him on the stretcher and into the waiting ambulance.


	3. Chapter 3

John watched as the ambulance sped away. He and Sherlock were standing outside of Greydon's house telling a worried Donovan what hat happened, or at least what they knew so far.

"So you are telling me that you arrived in time to hear the gunshots but did not see the guy that killed Greydon?" Sally asked puzzled.

"No nothing at all", John answered, pushing his service side arm deeper into his pocket. "When Sherlock realised that there is more to the case than we first thought, and that Greydon is a dangerous killer, we tried to warn Lestrade. He wasn't answering his phone so we feared the worse and came here as quickly as possible. Upon arrival we heard gunshots and after we entered the house we saw Lestrade lying on the floor, Greydon on top of him."

* * *

"Why are the chairs in the waiting areas always so bloody uncomfortable" John thought while he was sitting in one of said uncomfortable chairs in the waiting area of the Trauma ward at the Royal London Hospital. "Isn't it worse enough to know that a loved one is fighting for his life behind these doors."

When the ambulance arrived a couple of hours earlier Lestrade was straight brought up to surgery where he still remained.

After Lestrade's divorce and Sherlock's fall John and Lestrade became quite good friends and being a doctor Greg soon put John instead of his ex wife as the emergency contact. Therefore he was able to get some information about the extent of Greg's injuries.

John shuddered:

Multiple Rip fractures, flail chest, pulmonary lacerations to both lungs as well as Pulmonary haemorrhage.

As for the gunshot wound to the abdomen there is a incomplete injury to the spine in the thoracolumbar region as well as multiple injuries to the organs but due to the extent of his other injuries they will most likely only perform a damage control surgery and will operate fully some 48 hours after the patient has further stabilised.

As a doctor he knew what that meant. They are waiting to see if Lestrade survives the chest surgery and the next night. Only if his vital signs then improve to an acceptable level they'll consider another operation to repair the damage to his abdominal organs.

All he could do right now was to sit and wait.

* * *

Molly had been looking forward to this date the whole week. It took her long enough to see that Sherlock would never love her and now that she finally accepted that she started going out with men who where nothing like Sherlock.

The first few dates were a total disaster but when the Detective Inspector asked her out her heart actually did skip for a beat.

She has always liked his deep brown eyes and his boyish smile but with him being married and her preoccupied flirting with Sherlock she never noticed how much she actually liked him. So she said yes when he asked her a couple of days ago if she would like to have dinner with him.

Ok there maybe was a 16 year age difference between the two of them but who cares, she thought. She wanted to try it and anyway Greg looks way much younger than he actually is even with his silver hair.

Lestrade promised to pick her up at 6pm. It was now 7.30 and there was no sign of him. She tried his phone multiple times but was unable to reach him.

Molly started to get slightly worried. First she thought that he might had been held up with a case at NSY but then he would have most likely called or sent a text. But he's now an hour and a half late and that that made her equally angry and worried. What if something had happened to him? "Don't think like that" she grumbled to herself. "There will be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this and we will probably laugh about it in a matter of minutes."

When the clock stroke 8 and there was still no sign of Lestrade she got really worried. Molly had tried his mobile for what felt like hundred times in the last one and a half hour but still had no luck.

Something must have happened otherwise Greg would have answered his phone sooner or later.

Not knowing what to do she called John, hoping that he knows what was going on.

* * *

John jumped when his cellphone suddenly started ringing. He looked at the display. -Molly Hooper-

"What on earth does she want from me now?" he thought annoyed while pressing the answering button. Lestrade was now in surgery for something over 5 hours, had to be resuscitated again during the operation and John was now anxiously waiting for an other status update.

"Hey Molly, listen I don't have time right now."

"I've just got a quick question" Molly interrupted him " do you know by any chance what's up with Gr.., Lestrade? He promised to pick me up for...uhm something over two hours ago but never showed"

Johns blood ran cold. Lestrade told him at the Pub a couple of days ago that he finally secured a date after his divorce. Molly! Molly was the girl he planned to take out tonight. And now she is waiting for him, not knowing what had happened.

"John, you still there?" he could hear the worry in her voice. John took a deep breath:

"Uhm, yeah, sorry. Molly listen. There had been a incident."

"What for an incident?" Molly asked the worry now replaced by terror .

" Lestrade was shot during an interview. He's in surgery now. He should be coming out of it soon I hope. I will call you as soon as I know more. Promise me to stay calm. Please Molly" John explained.

"No no no, I'm coming to the hospital. Where is he? I'm flagging a Taxi and will be there as soon as possible." Molly was already halfway down the stairs.

" Molly, no. You can't do anything here. When he's out of surgery he'll be transferred to the Intensive Care Unit right away and it'll most likely take another 2 hours until they let visitors see him. Even then it'll be family only."

Molly's heart sank. Greg had been shot. And even though John had tried to sound as calm and composed she still could hear the fear in his voice.

"How bad is it?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

There was a pause until John answered. " It's not looking good, Molly. Two bullets entered his chest and one his abdomen. He had to be resuscitated at the scene and is now in surgery for like 5 hours or so. Listen, like I said, you can't do anything here right now. But I promise I'll call you as soon as they let visitors apart from his family see him. OK?"

Molly knew he was right. "OK. But promise me to call me as soon as you know more. Please."

"Of course. " John agreed.

After John had ended the call Molly stared at her phone not really knowing what to do now. She wanted to be at the hospital. But she knew that this wasn't possible . At least for now. She wouldn't be very helpful sitting in the waiting room, driving herself and most likely everyone else crazy. So she had to wait. Wait until John calls with what will hopefully be good news.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It took another hours until Lestrade was brought out of the operation theatre and 2 hours later he was transferred from recovery into the ICU. His status was listed as critical. His ex wife and his sons had been informed by the Yard but weren't due to arrive in the next couple of days as they were on holiday somewhere in South East Asia. Because of that fact and that the doctors weren't even sure if Lestrade would survive the night John was able to get visiting rights for him and Molly. He had a quick phone call with Lestrade's ex wife explaining the situation and she agreed that it would be best if Lestrade was with people he cared for.

Not long after John settled himself back in the waiting area, a doctor emerged from the ICU.

"Mr. Watson?" he asked.

John stood up and held out a hand " Yes, hi."

The doctor shook his hand "Hello, my name is Doctor Milne. I will be Mr. Lestrade's Doctor during his stay in the Intensive Care Unit. Seeing that you are his next of kin at the moment I'll fill you in on his condition." Milne said, sitting down while gesturing John to do the same.

"The bullets broke 5 ribs on the right site of his chest and 3 on his left site causing a pneumothorax as well as a flail chest on his right site which we treated with an external chest fixator at the moment. Both of his lungs had been injured but we were able to repair the damage.

As for the injuries caused by the bullet to the abdomen, the bullet lodged itself in the L3 vertebrae just in the middle of the lower back. Luckily the bullet had already slowed down significantly and there seems to be no serious damage to the spinal cord so there is a chance that Mr. Lestrade might be able to walk again. But we have to wait and see.

During surgery damage control was performed to his injuries to the liver and his intestines and we will operate further as soon as his condition allows us to. Do you have any questions at the moment, Mr. Watson?"

John didn't so the doctor showed him to Lestrade's bed. The visiting time had already ended but regarding Lestrade's critical status and John being a doctor he was allowed a brief visit. The bed was on the opposite site of the ward between to windows and 2 chairs were standing beside it.

John looked at the man lying in the bed in front of him.

Lestrade's normally nicely tanned skin had now nearly the same colour as the bed sheet. John had never seen Lestrade that white before. An endotracheal tube was inserted into Lestrade's windpipe through his mouth, held in place by a tube holder and was connected to a ventilator. Numerous Iv lines and tubes entered his body. A thin hospital blanket had been pulled up to his waist making the bandages covering the wounds fully visible. Several pads were on his chest monitoring his vital signs.

John sat down and took Lestrade's lifeless hand.

"Come on Greg, you've gotta pull through. We need you. I need you. You can't leave me alone with Sherlock. You know how annoying he will become when he loses his best man at Scotland Yard? I don't wanna deal with that" John smirked. He knew Lestrade was heavily sedated and was most likely not able to hear him but it helped John dealing with the situation.

"You know I've just talked to Molly. She is really worried about you. She's coming to see you tomorrow during the official visiting times. So don't you dare to miss that date as well.

The Yard had you ex wife informed. She'll bring your sons in a couple of days. Apparently they are on holiday at the moment.

I've got to leave now but I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe Sherlock will come along too, though he's working on your case at the moment. Dropped everything to find out what Greydon's involvement in that case was and why he tried to kill you. What we know so far is that he didn't murder the victim. I'll keep you up to date" John said while standing up.

John took one last look on Lestrade's chart before he left the ward. His stats had slightly improved and John had hopes that Lestrade will actually make it through the night.

* * *

Lestrade had made it through the night. His vital signs kept improving during the day so they had him scheduled for the follow up surgery on the following day.

* * *

3 days later Molly was sitting at Greg's bedside watching his chest rise and fall every time air was pushed into it. The operation had been successful and the doctors had reduced the sedatives and where now waiting for Lestrade to wake up.

"Please wake up" Molly begged while gently stroking Lestrade's hand. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "You know, I really really do like you. I was so happy when you asked me out on a date and I …"

Suddenly Molly felt a movement under her hand. "Greg? Molly called out "Can you hear me Greg? If so please squeeze my hand" The slight squeeze made her heart jump.

From one of the attached monitors a alarm sound could be heard. A nurse came, pushed a few buttons and the noise stopped. Molly stepped back to let her work.

The nurse carried out a couple of test, talking through the hole procedure. Upon finishing she touched Lestrade on his shoulder "Greg, try to open your eyes"

* * *

Greg could hear a voice in the distance. It sounded suspiciously like Molly. Why was she asking him to wake up? She sounded so worried. He was confused, something wasn't right. Where was he? Something was in his throat, it felt uncomfortable. He slightly moved his arm, prompting the Molly like voice to ask him to squeeze her hand. He did as he was told, noticing that he had no strength at all. Suddenly the Molly voice was replaced by a different one. He felt that the person to that voice kept touching him. Doing stuff. Asking him to open his eyes. Lestrade began to panic. What was happening. He was tired and just wanted to sleep.

The nurse had to ask a couple of times but after a few minutes Lestrade finally opened his eyes, unfocused. Confusion and panic evident. His hands moved up to the breathing tube but were gently stopped by the nurse.

"Greg, I need you to calm down. My name is Sarah and I'm a nurse at the Royal London Hospital. You were injured. You are currently in the Intensive Care Unit and the thing in your throat is a tube that helps you to breath." the nurse explained. The anxiety rose, tears were forming in Lestrade's eyes.

"Everything is going to be fine Greg, I need you to do a couple of things for me ok?" Greg nodded.

"Can you look at me?" The nurse asked. It took him great effort but after a while he was able to focus on the person standing next to him. It was a 30ish old woman. Behind her was another person, Molly, Greg recognized. He didn't know why but he suddenly felt calmer.

"Are you in any pain at the moment?" Greg slowly shook his head.

"Good", the nurse stated. " one last thing and then I promise I let you sleep again." she said cheerfully. " You sustained an injury to your spine therefore I need to check the feeling in your legs. Please nod when you feel something and shake your head when you don't" She produced a pinprick stimulator and removed the blanket partially from Lestrade's legs. Greg could feel the panic rise when the nursed asked if he could feel anything. Nothing, he could feel nothing. He shook his head. The nurse now moved to his left leg. And again he didn't feel anything. He shook his head again, tears now streaming down his face.

"There is nothing to worry about, Greg, " the nurse said reassuringly.

" You know, with that type of injury it is not uncommon that the feeling returns."

Greg didn't care. What if he would never be able to walk again? He felt his hand being picked up again and a small and soft hand wiped away his tears.

* * *

Molly's heart broke when she saw Greg reacting to the sensation test. She couldn't bare watching this normally so strong man cry. So to comfort him she took his hand and with her other hand she wiped away the tears that were falling from eyes that became unfocused again. "Shhh, it's ok. You're going to be fine" Molly whispered.

The nurse rearranged the blanket and sent an smile to Molly. "Keep talking to him that will calm him down."

And so Molly did. Soon Lestrade had fallen asleep again.


	5. Chapter 5

Molly was at Greg's bedside nearly everyday. She hated the times she had to work. His periods of wakefulness were becoming longer but he still wasn't really lucid most of the time.

There were short periods were his eyes fixed on her or John and she could see him calming down a little bit but most of the time what she could see in his eyes was panic and confusion. And all she could do during that times was wiping away the tears that were falling while holding Greg's hands and telling him stuff that might hopefully calm him down.

John had told her that this is quite normal with patients in the ICU. Due to the sedatives and pain medication given a lot of ICU patients may be agitated, confused, scared or paranoid.

Still, it hurt her every time but she needed to be strong for Greg. Especially after his reaction when his sons came to visit.

They were only 17 and 14 and had understandably been crying throughout the whole visit. His ex wife was with them so Molly stepped back to let them have their time with Greg.

* * *

Greg woke up to voices talking to him. He opened his eyes and saw two boys standing beside his bed. James and Oliver, his sons. The happiness that flooded through him turned quickly into worry. Why were they crying? What had happened? He wanted to talk to them, tell them that everything is OK and that he'll take care of whatever or whoever had make them cry. But he couldn't. Something inside his throat made it impossible for him to talk. He remembered waking up before to that horrible feeling and decided that he needed to get that thing out. But before his hand could reach the tube they were caught mid air by Oliver, Lestrade's eldest son.

"Dad, don't. Please" Lestrade could hear him say. "You need that, remember? You...you wouldn't be breathing without it" Oliver said, now choking on tears.

Slowly Lestrade began to panic. Why shouldn't he be able to breath without that thing inside his throat? What had been done to him? Moriarty! Moriarty was back, he remembered seeing his face on the Telly.

He wanted to get out of here, get him and his sons to safety. He struggled to get up not realizing that all what his body was capable of at the moment was a weak try to get his hands out of his son's grip.

Why was his own son holding him captive? Lestrade turned his head, seeing his younger boy, James, crying even harder while being hold by a strange women.

Who was that women, why was she holding his son? Did she made them cry? Is she the reason why his son keeps pinning his arms down? Nothing made sense in Lestrade's mind.

* * *

Even though she stopped loving this man, Jane still cared for him. She had always feared this call during their marriage. She knew that Greg's work can be dangerous and there had been a few trips to the A&E to pick him up but she never thought that she would see him critically injured.

Seeing him in such a state, eyes wide of panic after she tried to calm him down, was hard for Jane. She couldn't imagine how hard it must be for James and Oliver at the moment.

She didn't know what to do, should she continue to speak to Greg, hoping that he will recognize her at one point or should she better leave? She knew that she had hurt him with her cheating but did that justify his behaviour?

The woman who was sitting at Greg's side when they had arrived and had introduced herself as Molly laid a hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her back.

"It's OK. That's the drugs, that make him react like this. It's nothing personal, he reacted like this to the nurses and other people as well" Molly said to Jane. "I called the nurse, she'll give him something that'll calm him down.

A few minutes later a nurse arrived and gave Lestrade a sedative which made him fall asleep soon after.

* * *

During the next 2 weeks Lestrade became more and more lucid and aware of his surroundings. He had been moved from the general ward to a private room and the breathing tube in his throat had been exchanged to an Tracheotomy where they had made an incision in Greg's throat to insert the tube. His breathing had improved but he still needed triggered ventilation.

Normally he was very happy when he awoke and Molly was at his site but there had been one moment where all the embarrassment of his current situation had hit him. And it had hit him hard.

He had been given a sponge bath and the nurse had rolled him onto his side to clean his private parts. This was painful even with the amount of painkillers he was given and even though he knew that it was a daily job for the nurse Lestrade was embarrassed every time. But what made it even worse this time was that while he was lying on his side, displaying his full glory with catheter and everything, Molly suddenly appeared in the door frame. She looked a bit embarrassed as well and quickly turned around and left to give Greg the privacy he needed during that procedure.

Greg just wanted to die out of shame. He didn't want Molly to see him in a state like that. So when she returned after the nurse had finished he just closed his eyes and hoped that sleep would claim him. He felt Molly reaching for his hand but he moved it away.

"Greg, " Molly said in a hurt tone, "what's wrong?"

Slowly Lestrade turned his head and gestured to the pen and the notepad John had brought to help him communicate. She lay the notepad beside his hip and put the pen into his right hand.

"Why are you here?" he wrote with a shaky hand.

Greg could see tears forming in Molly's eyes. He didn't wanted to hurt her. "Sorry" he scribbled quickly.

Molly forced a smile and leaned forward.

"I am here because I like you, stupid. I care for you and I want the thing between us to work out. Since you asked me out all I could think about is being with you. Waking up next to you and spend the rest of my life with you"

"Why?"

"Why?" Molly sucked in a deep breath "Why? Because you are the best and finest man I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I can still kick my ass for not noticing it earlier. You are a bloody good looking guy with a great persona and I can't wait to see that lovely smile of yours returning"

Lestrade shook his head. No he wasn't the Detective Inspector Molly agreed to go out with any more. Not the man who asked Molly out for a date. Who had planned so much to do and see with her. Now he was an invalid, a fucking cripple who wasn't able to do anything on his own. Not even bloody breathing. He felt hot tears streaming down his face and wrote " No, am not what I used to be. Cripple. Worthless. Find someone better" gesturing with his left hand up and down his battered body and useless legs.

"No Greg, that's not true" Molly said. "First of all the doctors said that it is highly likely that you regain full feeling on both of your legs, you just have to be patient. It'll come, trust me, you are one of the most stubborn persons I've ever met. If you want to walk you will walk. In a couple of month you will be up and running like nothing had happened"

A few days ago the doctor had told Molly that Lestrade had shown reactions to the sensory tests to his legs. They were pretty weak but gave reason to hope

"And secondly even if not there would still be no other man I would want more than you. You are no less man to me, Greg, no matter what. You've got to get that into that thick skull of yours."

Molly bend over and wiped away the tears on Lestrade's face. A few Minutes all there was in the room was silence only broken by the whooshing sound of the ventilator and the occasional beeping of a machine.

Then a slight smile broke out on Lestrade's face.

"Molly really does love me" Greg thought and he could feel the fear and bad mood fade away.

He picked up the pen again " Still owe you a proper date then" Greg wrote, smiling more brightly now.

Molly kissed his forehead " Yes you do" she said, "yes you do".

"You've gotta wait a bit though" Greg wrote down, now spotting this boyish smile of his that Molly loved so much

" don't think they let me share whatever they are giving me trough this fucker" he gestured toward the tube that had been inserted into the side of his belly.

"Not sure I'd even want anything from that, Greg. It's all yours" Molly said laughing.

" OK, but as soon as I'm out of this bed I'll take you somewhere to eat, even if it's only the bloody cafeteria. Deal?"

"Deal" Molly answered, carefully shaking the hand Lestrade held out.

"Good" Lestrade scribbled. Suddenly he felt very tired. It took a huge amount to pick up the pen again and very shakily he wrote " Sorry for before. Tired, gotta sleep. Please stay. Need you"

"Don't be sorry," Molly said running soothing fingers through his hair, "everything is fine. When ever you feel down just talk to me. I'll be there for you"

Lestrade nodded and closed his eyes. A few moments later he was fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Greg hated it to be stuck in that hospital bed.

He was told that there was a nice view out of the window in his room over London and the newly built The Shard but because of his injuries he had to lay nearly flat and he hadn't really had the chance yet to enjoy that view.

He still hasn't regained all his feeling in his legs and moving his arms higher than a few inches resulted in unspeakable pain in his chest as he had found out during his first physiotherapy session. Well at least the first he was fully aware of.

It got better with the time but still hurt like hell and it annoyed him to still be so helpless even though his doctors and therapists assured him that he was making good progress.

And most of it all he hated it to be on the ventilator.

At least he was able to speak after some sessions with a speech-language pathologists. That was a little bit of freedom.

But even though it was not as annoying as writing down everything he wanted to say it didn't mean that it was easy. Greg was only able to speak when the ventilator pushed the air out of his body, so his speak pattern was off and it took him a lot of effort to keep up conversations.

Shortly after Lestrade got his speaking valve fitted , John and Sherlock paid him a visit. Greg had the vague suspicion that John had persuaded Sherlock to come along with the promise to talk about the case. Greg didn't mind, at least that made him feel like his old self a little bit.

"How are you, Greg? I see they let you talk now, hope you're not only using it for complaining?" John greeted Lestrade with a grin.

"...had been...better but then...also worse." Lestrade said smirking "'s boring here...no...'m never... complaining... 's like ...a 5...star hol...liday"

"Well I better ask the nurses about that" John said laughing.

The reply was an unidentifiable grunt.

"so..." Greg started, "...what have...you found...out?" The last word was nearly lost in a cough.

"Nothing really, I'm afraid" John answered.

Lestrade could hear a disapproving grunt from his right.

"...wha'?" Lestrade asked turning his head to Sherlock.

" Well, first of all we do know that this wasn't a random attack" Sherlock explained, "Someone ordered Greydon to kill you. He was ordered to date the original victim; who was killed by some junky who got paid for it by the way. Because of that who ever ordered the attack on you could be sure that Greydon would be questioned as a possible person of interest.

"huh?...who?" Lestrade asked puzzled

" That's where we're not quite sure yet" Sherlock admitted.

"I'm trying to get Donovan to let me look into your old cases but she doesn't let me. I want you to think about all your old cases and as soon as you are physically up to it get the ones you think could be connected with this from Donovan, look through them and tell me everything that meets your eye."

* * *

Lestrade nodded, his mind already going through old cases, searching for clues on who would have an interest to kill him.

John and Sherlock stayed for over an hour, talking about old cases and what else was going on. Jon noticed that the hint of sadness the DI had in his eyes since he had woken up was nearly gone.

After a nurse asked them to leave as the visiting time was over John took Sherlock to the site:

"I see what you did there, Sherlock" The Detective gave John an annoyed look. " You could've got the files easily from Mycroft" John continued. " And due to the lack of an Officer in front of Lestrade's room I think you already know who did it and didn't care to tell me or Lestrade for that matter."

"Obviously, " Sherlock replied. "Our Detective Inspector is feeling depressed because of his current situation and needs something to feel useful again during the time of his recovery. So I got all of Lestrade's old cases from Mycroft, found a guy who had a lot of reasons to go on a revenge trip on Lestrade and had him taken, let's say to custody, by my brother. I couldn't risk to let him get away. He'll remain there until Lestrade helped us to figure it out..again."

"Sherlock, that's genius! He began to lighten up when we were talking about work stuff and old cases " John said. "Allowing him to help us finding the guy and giving him the feeling that we couldn't do it without his help will hopefully keep the depressions at bay."

John knew that sooner or later Lestrade would figure out what was going on and would become suspicious as to why Sherlock wasn't able to catch the guy by himself. But John hoped that this would rather be later and that Lestrade would appreciate that all of this was to keep him occupied during his recovery and to show him that he'll always be needed.

The doctors said that they would try again to get him off the ventilator in a couple of days. Greg was really looking forward to it but until then he had to deal with the fact that even a simple sentence took ages to finish.

He was thinking to tell Molly about it at her next visit but he still vividly remembered the last time the doctors tried to take him off. He wanted Molly to be with him because he wanted her to be proud about the progress he made and to show her that they were only steps away to have a real date. Well it turned out to be the wrong choice.

The weaning progress had actually started when they had put him on triggered ventilation after leaving the ICU and the doctors where quite certain that Lestrade would be able to breath completely on his own after the progress he mad with his speech.

While the nurse removed the ventilator he reached for Molly's hand.

"All right, Greg, " the nurse said " now slowly try to draw in a breath"

Greg did as he was told and was met by a horrible pain in his chest that brought tears to his eyes. He stopped the breathing effort at once and his grip on Molly's hand tightened.

"I know that it hurts, but you need to try to breath as deep as possible. The pain will get better eventually" the nurse said reassuringly.

He tried again but wasn't able to draw in a deep breath, he felt like he was suffocating and sightly panicked.

He didn't wanted to be hooked up to that machine again, he wanted to be strong in front of Molly and therefore chose to pretend that his breathing was all good when Molly asked how he was feeling.

He didn't noticed that what he thought was an optimistic "yes, all perfect" came out as a strained " 's a' pfect" and that Molly and the nurse exchanged worried looks.

"You know it's not a shame to try at a different time. It takes time to get back to regular breathing with lung injuries like yours" the nurse said reassuringly while lying a hand on Lestrade's shoulder.

"We just keep changing the settings of the ventilator every day to less and less assistance until your lungs are healed to the point where they are able to work completely on their own."

Lestrade could feel a tear running down his left chin. He shook his head "no! 's good. All fine. Don' need help anymo'"

"No Greg you're not fine" Molly said, slightly annoyed about his stubbornness. "Your breathing is bloody laboured. I bet that you are not even getting enough oxygen."

"And don't try to lie to me, Greg." Molly added when she saw that Greg was trying to word a denial.

"The nurse can check the level in your blood, you know?" Lestrade looked defeated.

Molly hated herself for the harsh words but she knew that they were needed. Greg being the stubborn idiot that he is would keep on pretending that everything is fine until he would pass out due to the lack of oxygen or even worse stop breathing while at sleep.

Deep inside Greg knew that Molly was right and gave in. The ventilator got hooked up again and the nurse promised him that they'll give it an other try soon.

"Sorry" Lestrade said disappointed. "Thought...that I...was ready" trying to hide the tears that threatened to come up again.

"There is nothing to be sorry about" Molly answered while running a hand soothingly through his razor cut short hair.

"Just don't be so stubborn the next time when you know it isn't working at the moment OK? You've come a far way already and episodes like this will only do more harm than good"

"I promise" Greg said, reaching up to her hand despite the pain in his chest.

* * *

With this episode in mind Greg decided that it would be better to try it without Molly. During the last week the nurse had changed the setting of his ventilator to a level where he was nearly breathing on his own. The ventilator only kicked in when the cycle between the breaths became to long or when his oxygen level had dropped during the night, so they decided to give it an other try.

Greg felt a small amount of panic creeping up. What if he still wasn't able to breath independently? Could he manage an other throw back? When the nurse unhooked him from the ventilator Greg decided that it was probably a good move that Molly wasn't here. He would most like do something stupid again, despite his promise to her the last time.

Carefully he took a breath. "Not bad" he thought. It still hurt but not as much as the last time and he was able to get more oxygen with one breath. It was still a long way to the full lung capacity but he didn't had the feeling that he was suffocating.

The nurse looked please as well. "That's looking good, Greg. I told you a little time will do wonders " she said while checking the monitors.

"I'm now going to remove the trach valve and the tube. This might be a little bit uncomfortable but it will be over quickly. I need you to cough as hard as you can on three. Can you do that for me Greg? "

Greg nodded and did as he was told. "Bloody hell, " he thought, "a little uncomfortable my arse. This felt like my lungs got ripped out" He continued to cough while the nurse threw away the tubes and began dressing his wound.

"I'll get you some ice cubes to sooth your throat" the nurse said. "And I'll get the doctor to check if you are up to solid food already."

"Thanks" Lestrade rasped out.

* * *

The prospect of being allowed real food made Lestrade's day even greater. Not only did he got rid of that stupid breathing machine but there was also a change that he would be able to eat again. Everybody who visited him since he got out of the ICU had to put up with his complaining that he really misses to eat actual food. The stuff they feed him with the tube in his stomach didn't make him feel hungry but he misses the taste. And Lestrade was sure that even the normally so boring hospital food would taste like heaven.

But boy was he wrong about that. The doctor gave his permission to have the feeding tube removed as soon as Lestrade was able to sit nearly upright. It took Lestrade a couple of days of painful physiotherapy but finally he was able to sit upright for a short amount of time until it got too painful again.

So when the doctor gave his OK for Lestrade's first meal he proudly send a message to Molly that the dinner in the hospital cafeteria isn't that far away any more because he was now allowed to eat real food and as soon as he was able to sit in an wheelchair he would like to have a mini version of the dinner they had planed on the day he got shot.

When Molly arrived at Greg's room she didn't know whether to laugh or to cry over the picture that greeted her. Greg was sitting in his bed, a plate of some mashed up, colourless food on the bedside table which was now folded out over his lap. With his right hand he held a spoon with which he half-heartedly poke through the meal. His look resembled that of a kid who was sitting in front of a plate full of vegetables. It was a mixture of disappointment and discuss.

"Not quite your taste then, Greg?" Molly greeted him.

Greg looked up " If it would only taste like something" he muttered. "I was really looking forward to it and now look what they gave me" he said, picking some of the stuff up with his spoon and letting it falling down on the plate again.

"Well I think that's all your stomach can handle right now, you sustained a quite severe inj..." Molly started but was interrupted by Greg.

"Yeah, I know. That's what the doctors keep telling me but I still don't think that shredded cardboard is any helpful." he dropped the spoon with a clatter on the plate.

"You do know that right now you are behaving like the 6 year old nephew of mine when he has to eat his vegetables?" Molly said laughing.

"'m not" Greg replied only to realize that this was the exact answer a 6 year old would give as well.

" OK maybe a bit" he laughed regretting it in instantly as he felt the pain in his chest and stomach getting worse. Lestrade made a mental note that laughing, even though it didn't hurt that bad any more when he was lying down, was not a great idea while sitting up.

"You OK?" Molly asked concerned.

"Yeah, 'm fine" Lestrade said while trying to breath through the pain.

It was getting worse but he didn't want to lay down just yet.

Molly noticed the strain in Lestrade's smile and the change in his breathing. "Shouldn't you be lying down now that you have finished eating?" she asked innocently.

"Nah, I'm...'m fine as long as the...the pain doesn't get too much" Lestrade said, trying to sound as fine as possible. A look in Molly's face who was looking at him with her right eyebrow slightly raised told him that he failed miserably.

"Well OK, maybe you're... you're right" he said defeated and reached for the remote to put down the headrest to a more comfortable position.

"Well at least I do know now that the view from my room actually is as nice as all of you said. And I can't wait to enjoy it again during my next meal of yesterday's newspapers shredded in some baby food" Greg said smiling after his pain meds had kicked in and the pain got back to an acceptable level.

"Nurse said that they are trying to get me up and into an wheelchair as soon as I can sit long enough without being in too much pain" Lestrade said cheerfully.

"These are great news, Greg. And in no time you will be able to take me out to the dinner you keep promising me for weeks now" Molly carefully nudged Lestrade's shoulder.

Greg smiled. He would.

Now that he was able to sit up this was his next goal. Small steps, as John had told him: "Don't set yourself goals that are just unreachable at the moment. It will make you happier to succeed in small steps than fail at the bigger ones" He had laid them out already. First of all being able to sit in a wheelchair, secondly being able to push himself, thus gaining more independence, then starting to use the loo again, and get rid of that catheter and newly fitted Colostomy bag and after he had achieved all of that he would start concentrating on walking again.

Lestrade wasn't an idiot, he knew that his plan only worked on his good days. Since he got shot he was prone to depressions. Especially when he was alone he kept thinking about his future and what would happen if he doesn't get full mobility back and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Or if he wasn't fit enough to return to his old job. That were the days were he kept pushing his limits, trying to get to his old self as soon as possible or when it was really bad refusing to take part at the physiotherapy session because he could just not see what they should be good for anyhow. He knew that it would only get worse as soon as he was out of the hospital and in an rehabilitation faculty. But he also knew that during the dark times he would always have his friends at his site who will show him his limits or push him when needed without making him feel like an idiot.

"You OK?" Molly asked breaking the silence.

"Right now I am," Greg answered, "right now I am."


End file.
